i want 2008 to be over

im glad no one reads this so i can go on a fucking tirade right now. i have too fucking much in my head right now, i can barely work.
my grandmother is insane, if shes not insane she is so demented that i dont know what to do or how to act around her. shes 84...she thinks shes pregnant, she thinks my grandfather is trying to kill her and wants to divorce her...and she lives in a home. damn it i never should have let my mom and aunt do that. my grandfather, who is still alive, is now living in a house all by himself. ive never had to go through all of this so its really tough for me. ive never lost a family member.
my boyfriend does not talk to me anymore. i know this is very petty but with his recent loss he doesnt even tell me how his day was without tons of prauding. im also about 99.9999% sure he does not want me to atend the funeral with him. fuck. here i am trying to be the supportive girlfriend and be a shoulder to cry on or whatever he needs and he acts like im some kind of unfeeling monster. im definitly a little unfeeling and the ppl goign to this funeral hate me with more then a firey passion and it has now taken him like 3 days to decide if he even wants me to be there. im sure hell ultimatly say no but he cant even come out and fucking say it. fuck him. why should i try to be helpful if he doesnt want it. he didnt tell me he was giving the eulogy until last night and never told me when he found out. hes just hiding a lot from me and its really irksome.
im also going to lose my job. now im not sure of that or anythign but i do know im in trouble. first im not going fast enough but then they ask me to do more. so i need to do more then im doing now and faster. see, my carpal tunnel fucks up my work, which is the reason i have the CTS in the first place. and, so far, no xmas bonus...now i know im not the vest worker. look at me stumble and blog while im suposed to be working but i do pretty damn good work. ive been helping this company get more business for alomst 2 years now. our returns have gone down more then 50% i was told since ive been here...oh well, i could have used that $500. my savings is dwindling thanks to my expensive rent...
i just feel like my life is splitting at the seams.