god damn it

my boyfriends best friend just died. just as old as i am, 24...hes been in a coma for a long time...before that, he was an asshole. im afraid to write my feelings in honesty bcs im sure some horror will befoul me, but he really was. he was funny and interesting, smart as a whip (wHip) but an asshole to the core and proud of it! made me cry on a daily basis for a while...then he stopped being friends with my guy and me, didnt invite us to his wedding, then...a simultaneous heart attack and stroke, just like im grandmother. now hes gone, just another memory of a person that loved and hated me. someone ill never fully understand, but god i hope they keep his version of "what you do to me" entitled "what guys do to me." fuck i wonder where/when the funeral will be...god i wonder what his parent will think when they see all of his "friends." god damn it i hope i can help my guy out. i cried when he told me. i didnt mean to it just happened...

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